You can hear the passion in Tony "El Cucuy" Ferguson's voice. He's easily speaking at double the rate of normal conversation, and he's punching his words often for emphasis.
Ferguson (10-2 MMA, 0-0 UFC) is on the cusp of his dream – the crown of "The Ultimate Fighter 13" – and like so many others, he's made countless sacrifices in its pursuit.
You could say that passion has led him to some dark places that have alienated those around him (Just ask his house mates on the show). Ramsey Nijem (4-1 MMA, 0-0 UFC), his opponent in The Ultimate Fighter 13 Finale, thinks he's a bad guy. And that might be true. But it also might not.
The Ultimate Fighter 13 Finale takes place Saturday at The Pearl at the Palms Casino Resort in Las Vegas. The main card airs on Spike TV (9 p.m. ET/PT).
Ferguson could be a guy who snapped like any normal human could. As he puts it, there were problems from the beginning during his stay in the reality-show house.
"In the beginning of the season, it was kind of hard to get the nerves out – not having that support group, not having that music or TV to be that backbone for whatever you fought," he told MMAjunkie.com (www.mmajunkie.com).
Admittedly, Ferguson bottles things up. He's a brooder, not a guy who dances like a stripper in front of a bunch of MMA fighters, as Nijem did. They're both wrestlers, but their personalities are polar opposites.
Ferguson is nicknamed "The Boogeyman" for good reason, he's often said.
In the second-to-last episode of the show's season, cameras caught Ferguson taunting cast member Charlie Rader, who previously had revealed that he hadn't seen his son in a year due to missed child-support payments – an open scab Ferguson picked at. There was anger not only from other cast members, but from online message boards, which prompted reporters to dredge up the issue in the media events ahead ahead of Saturday's event.
It's been an unpleasant experience for Ferguson. He's gotten hate mail and faced a few cold shoulders as the result of his behavior. He said he knows who he is and he knows who loves him, and it's on the media to determine whether he continues to be judged for his past. But he can't just sweep things under the rug.
Would fans understand him more if they knew about his background?
"I was born in California, and I moved to Michigan," he said. "I grew up kind of angry. I didn't have my dad in the picture. I had my stepdad, and he disciplined me the way he had to. He put me in sports and kept me out of trouble. You probably had that too, that tight leash around your neck.
"I brought a lot of stuff with me into that house. So the thing was, it was just a matter of time before it happened. It sucks that everybody had to see it, but everybody has their inner-demons, and they're dealing with them every single day."
Does that forgive his behavior? Old friends from Michigan sent him messages via Facebook questioning why he did what he did. It was then that he realized how much he screwed up. He had let out in real life the guy he lets out in the cage. He never mixes the two.
There's nothing he can do about it, though, other than to keep living and keep fighting, and to try to be a better person the next time around.
Would you forgive him if you met him on the street and found out he was a nice guy?
"I'm kind of glad that the average attention span of the average male is kind of like, 'Hey, there's a shiny object!'" he said "So I hope that people actually look at themselves, and maybe they can dig deep into themselves and figure out something about themselves. I figured out a hell of a lot of things about myself, especially watching that episode. And I figured that's not the kind of person I want to be and not the kind of example I want to set for these kids."
A big shiny object is right around the horizon. He could win the show on Saturday and clear the way for a career in the UFC. That alone might buy him the goodwill to move past the episode. Or he could cement his reputation as a heel, just as Josh Koscheck did after the show's first season in which he taunted Chris Leben. Saturday's audience will let him know where he stands.
All he do is fight to the best of his ability.
"Whether it's emotions or not, we both know that you can't bring emotions into this fight," he said. "What you have to be tactical and technical."
Don't be surprised, though, with an outpouring of emotion after the fight. Ferguson has more to show the world. He is not just a boogeyman.
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